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Dog Poo Attack

Two Cornish women have been arrested and charged with assault with a deadly weapon after causing a disturbance this morning in the street.

Angry Resident

Dog Poop SignIt started when angry resident April Loof hurled dog feces at a passing dog walker and ended in a full scale fight which took four police officers to bring under control.

April, 45 from Newquay, has been having continual problem with a local dog owner allowing their dog to foul in front of her house and on her garden for the last 6 months.

April has witnessed the offence take place so is well aware of the dog and owner responsible and has tried various methods of resolving the situation; from polite requests, to leaving bags to clear up on her gate, through to threats to call the authorities, but to no avail.

This morning April decided to take matters into her own hands, so to speak.

When she saw the owner and dog approach her property she started to hurl some of the deposits which had been previous left at them, saying “I’ve heard the best way to stop a dog pooing in the same place is to rub his nose in at, so I thought I would try the theory on you!”

Shocked Dog Owner

The shocked dog owner, 26 year old Fi Arpollo also from Newquay, then proceeded to join in the fight by returning fire.  The fight continued for some 20 minutes and drew quite a crowd of onlookers, some of whom decided to protest themselves from the flying debris with make shift cardboard fans.

The police finally arrived and calmed the situation down, and took both women and the bemused dog to the police station where they were arrested and charged with above all assault with a lethal weapon.  They can use this charge because of the toxin levels in dog poo are so high that serious illness, including blindness can be caused.

A neighbour who wishes to remain anonymous said “if there hadn’t been so much shouting it would have been quite comical! Especially when the s**t started to hit our fans. I can’t blame April for her actions as we have had a lot of trouble with dog fouling but I don’t think I would ever have thought of it myself.”

The case is due before the court on....................1st April – Fool!

Make sure you don’t fall “foul” of your neighbours always use a dicky for your icky!

Dog Poo Attack

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